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Comrades Do Ultra/Miami!
PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 03:23:00 (182)  Reply with quote
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Comrades Do Ultra
Part I - Flight 843

I arrived in Fort Lauderdale, Florida around 6:45pm on Thursday night. The phone rings a few minutes after I land. "Comrade. We're 10 minutes away," a familiar voice says in a low and deviant tone. It was none other than the legendary Vic Hyype. I got my bag, and headed outside where Vic and Dmitry (Martynda) were waiting for me. The first thing I noticed was how long Dmitry's arms were. As he reached out the window to give me a slap, it seemed as though it took about 5 minutes for his arm to fully extend out the window. I threw my bags in Vic's car, and we headed off towards my aunt's house in Hollywood where Dmitry and I were staying.

Part II - In Search of Hollywood

As we headed down the highway, a familiar song was playing in Vic's car. It was Ignition vs. Tiesto - Estee Effyu. Nothing gets you more in the mood to party then hearing Tijs' soothing voice samples stating that 'Dance music is about sex.' Half an hour later, (7 minutes to my aunt's house by cab) we were still on the highway when Vic realized we were not going to Hollywood. What proceeded to follow was an outburst of 'NOOB', 'STFU', and 'OMG,' regarding Vic's superior navigational skills.

Nevertheless, we eventually ended up at my place in Hollywood after a while. Vic dropped us off and went home to 'study for a test he thought he had tommorow.' Dmitry and I decided it would be best to unpack our shit and go get something to eat. Fortunately enough, our place was right on Hollywood beach, and the broadwalk had plenty of places to get food about a mile down.

We ended up at some townie bar called "Nick's" The food wasn't bad, and it was walking distance from our place. The problem was that I am a raging alcoholic, and Dmitry is 19. We quickly decided that we would do what all people with underage friends at the bars do. I would order, and wait to see if they card, then Dmitry would order if they didn't. 4 or 5 Miller Lites later, we decided our plan was successful, and we were officially warmed up.

Another half a mile down the road, Dmitry and I ended up at
a Greek bar called Opa. Given my heritage, and some of my closest friends from back home, I was definately feeling a little nostalgic. Beautiful women dancing on top of tables with each other, and native beats pumping through the stereo set the sexy vibe. The Coronas flowed like water, and I promptly proclaimed myself drunk. As Dmitry will attest to, this is when the fun begins.

Typically, when one is drunk, it would be most wise for him to mind his comments and consider the things he says before saying it. Obviously, this was not the case with me, as I decided to make a pass at a young lass sitting on a chair next to me. After about 2 or 3 minutes of me nodding my head as though I was acknowledging what this girl was saying, I was getting irratated that I could only understand about one out of every 6 words she was saying. She was Australian. And she was also 30 years old. And her friends consisted of a married couple and some other ugly chick that we payed no attention to. It was going to take a lot of careful planning and smooth words to bring
this one home, but I was drunk.

Part III - In Dmitry's Memory (...but not in mine)

Dmitry and I left the bar and walked back to a Hotel with a few chicks from Opa. One was deaf and pretty damn hot, another was your typical New York ho - cocky and sporting that cab-driver accent. The third was just there. The heavy-accented New Yorker, and Dmitry hit it off, but I was done talking, and was ready to go home and do what we came to do. (which would turn out to be sleeping). After we all had a drink, I payed my bill (1 beer for $4 dollars, and gave the waitress a $6 dollar tip (drunk).

Anyway, we ended up on the broadwalk where the ugly girl convinced her friends not to come home with us.

As Dmitry and I stumbled home, he proceeded to laugh and tell me that the one girl called me 'Cassanova,' (apparently some kind of derrogatory term for a womanizer.) I have no comment on that, mainly because I don't remember it. Somehow I managed to spend around $80 dollars though.

Part IV - Lethal (food) Industry

We got back to our place and Dmitry explained that it was now time for the final portion of initiation into Comradehood. Salo. For those of you who don't know what Salo is, I'll try to give you an accurate description:

Imagine taking uncooked bacon out of the package, cutting off the part you usually eat (the meat) and throwing it away. What you are left with is mushy pig fat in a block the size of a brick. Add about 3 pounds of salt, and freeze.

Salo is the only food in Russia/Ukraine that is both the national food, and a torture weapon in KGB interrogation camps. I'll let these pictures explain how I felt.

Salo 1
Salo 2
Salo 3

Friday, March 5th

Part V - Obsession (with shoes)

After a night of getting shot down by nervous and shy women who obviously wanted our 12"s, and a belly full of salted pig lard (salo probably translates into English as 'death,') Vic called us and decided to take us to the mall to help him on what would turn out to be a never-ending quest for shoes that were as metrosexual as mine. As we browsed the shoe departments of every fucking store in the mall at the speed of a drunk snail in search of proper shoes to match Vic's new outfit, I decided to end the search by going to the king of uber-ghey shoes, Aldo. After Vic and I recieved numerous suggestive looks from perhaps the most openly homosexual shoe salesman I had ever layed eyes on, we ended our search and decided to go get food. But not before I did the 'OMG TIJS' pose--> in the middle of the mall.

Part VI - Traffic (Violation)

As the light turned green to exit the parking lot of the mall, Vic decided that the bicyclist next to us was of no concern and promptly cut him off. "Was that a bike cop?", he inquired. "Ya. Mostly a bike-cop," I said in my best Tiesto imitation voice. At the very next light, the bicyclist knocked on the Driver's window and commanded Vic to step out of the vehicle with his license and registration. After a good 15 minutes, Dimitry and I couldn't figure out what the hell was taking so long. "Would you two please step out of the vehicle," the cop said to us.

As we got out and looked around us, there were now 2 police cruisers and the bike-cop standing around discussing the situation. "You guys speak any english," the second cop asked us. I tried not to laugh.

Apparently, Vic was a little more ghetto than we all had thought. His car-registration tag as well as his driver's license were both expired for longer than 6 months.
Essentially, we were driving around in an illegal hoopty with a baseball bat in the backseat that Vic said was for 'self defense / baseball.'

As the police continued to racially profile Dmitry and Vic as members of the KGB, etc, I decided it would be an ample opportunity to flip off a few rounds with the camera. This shot looks straight out of COPS. Anyway, the cops decided to give Vic a plethora of tickets for driving illegally in more ways than one. They also said it would be ok if I drove the car, which is funny because my Pennsylvania Driver's License is only valid to drive to work during the day. Also known as- My regular license is suspended too. Go figure.

Part VII - T.Nu Meetup (Sorry, no Tijs related song fit the bill on this one)

So we finally got our legal issues straightened out, and managed to get dressed and ready for the .nu meetup. We walked around S. Beach for a good half an hour before we found it, but Bo's (Peri from Filo & Peri) head which seemed to be scraping the lower clouds in the sky made it a little easier to find. The comrades and I met LuNaSea (Daniella), Elusive (Lars), Filo & Peri (Bo & Dom) (This pic is a burnt me & Bo), SoBe, and Leeor. Because we got there late, we only hung out for a little bit untill everyone was ready to go. What followed was the most blatant display of disorganization I have encountered in quite some time.

As a group,we mosied through the streets of south beach, while Daniella decided to shop for something (to this day I don't remember what) and thus stopped at every drugstore in a 10 mile radius. She also kicked me in the ass at one point. Since everyone had different agendas, we then parted our seperate ways.

Elusive was tired, so him and Daniella decided to go to Crobar for a little while to see Timo Maas, and then crash early. Bo and Dom went off to Space. We decided we would do the same thing.

Part VIII - Space Age 1.0

$50 bucks cover, and an hour later (around 1AM), we landed in Space. DJ Icey was throwing down some sick Nu-School Breaks in the smaller room. There was a good ratio of sausage to hoz, and everyone was dancin and
having a good time. A tall blonde guy that to this day, Vic swears was his
personal hero, Armin, mosied through the crowd and waltzed up into the DJ Booth.

Another noob took over for Icey and busted out some sick Jungle / D 'n B that threw everyone off for a minute. We all got tired of this and decided to go in the main room to check out PVD. PACKED. Wasn't room to breathe in there. We got there within the first half an hour of his set, so we heard a lot of very cool progressive-trance songs that get a lot less rotation than most of the ch00ns he plays. The bass was TOO loud. Whoever did the sound system that night gets my award for shitty design. It was hard to even make out what song he was playing, unless you could tell from the bassline. The only tracks that I remember him playing were:
-Casadena - Floor Control (John Askew Remix)
-Crush (Vandit Rmx)
-Flight 643

About half way through our time listening to PVD, a beautiful big bosomed blonde appeared in the crowd out of nowhere, looked me in the eyes, smiled at me, and grabbed my 12". She grabbed my ass, gave me a hug, and walked back and grabbed Vic's 12". Then she dissappeared. One of the most dissappointing moments of my life. Vic and I then proceeded to get a few drinks from a beautiful blonde bartender, who gave us more looks
and smiles than any of the other 9000+ choon loving drunks. Second most dissapointing moment of my life. We hung out for another hour, and decided we'd all had enough dick-teasing for one night.

Sautrday, March 6th

Part VIIII - Urban Train

3 PM, and I have a hangover. Again. The comrades and I wake up at my house, and we attempt to figure out how we're going to get to Ultra since Vic's driving privledges are about as legal as a Hatian drug lord.We sit outside and discuss are options as Vic rubs his foaming mouth and watering eyes as result of sleeping next to 2 cats. Since Vic had to go to work, and
couldn't take Dmitry and I to Ultra, we decide that the best option would be to take the train.
After hitting on raver girls from New Jersey, almost getting played by a dude selling fake VIP passes to Space, and witnessing large teenagers throw themselves against walls at all the train stops, we finally made our way to Bayfront Park.

Part X - Tijs In Concert

The bassling from Chable and Bonicci - Ride was pumping, even hough we were 3 city blocks away. Dimitry and I hadn't eaten at all that ay, so we decided to search for food. We found a 'Hooters' and figured this was as good a place as any.

Two buffalo-chicken sandwhiches and a few Miller Lite's later, and we were on our way to Ultra. The problem was, by this time it was already well after 6pm (18:00), and a lot of the good acts that we wanted to see (Holden, Lawler, Sander K, etc) had already played.

The Comrades saw choonmasters. And it was good.
First up? Tijs. The main amphetheatre was packed with ch00n loving noobs who were eager to dance the night away. Silence, Lethal Industy, and Traffic were among some of his amazing underground works that were being played. Then he trainwrecked. A silent stage for approxamately 15 seconds, and the start of a new record put a huge smile on my face. It was time for a drink. One of many I would consume throughout the 3-4 hours we were actually at Ultra. As Tijs finished up, no other than P.Diddy and Oakenfold came on. We promptly left.

Next up, we walked to the other sde of the arena to check out the boring legends, Sasha & Digweed. Ironically enough, as much as I love progressive, and as much as people were shouting, cheering and having a good time, I honestly thought their set was boring.Not too much flow, the songs they mixed between the two of them didn't sound good together, etc.

Their set was finishing up, and we met up with Bo and Dom in the crowd. (They were eagerly awaiting the next Ultra 6 installment of choonmasters, Ferry Corsten. "Punk," "Indigo," and of course, the ever so famous "Rock your body"were among the completely unsurprising and typical set he threw down. So I got drunk.

At this point, Dmitry, myself, Bo, and Dom all decided to head up to see PVD playing for a little bit. This is where this review will start to get disorganized and hazy, because at the time, I was severely drunk. Ok, we watched PVD, he played some songs, and saw some hot women. Mostly the same ones he played the night before. We all decided to leave and go back to the Hotel with Bo and Dom, and head out to some clubs in SoBe.

We stumbled back to the hotel where Bo managed to get into an levator jam-packed with hoz. Unfortunately, and not surprisingly, he had no game, and thus we all ended up back in their room. After Bo's 45 minute shower, and 30 minute search for the perfect T-shirt to wear out with his shorts, we headed down the main drag.

After what seemed like a drunken enternity of me tripping over shit, and walking into people, we decided we should get some food. There was a pizza place nextdoor to a club with a huge line outside.

As we sat outside and enjoyed our drunken snack, no other than P.Diddy and BillyCrystal came rollin in to the club. The cover was $80 bucks, and Dima and I still had a $50 dollar cab-ride back to our house in Hollywood. We all decided to call it an early one (around 3:30am) and headed back (once again) to a hotel room with other men. Nonetheless, a good time was had by all.

The last day, Sunday, Dmitry took off early to catch his bus back to Gainesville. I slept untill 4pm, ordered a Papa John's hawaiian pizza, and wanked several times. All in all, it was a great trip. Hope to see more people come out next year.


Ignition vs. Tiesto - Estee Effyu !!1  ---Click

[ Edited by: Ignition on 2004-03-12 01:00 ]
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Priaprism looking at uncle Hyype's penos in his avatar
PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 03:38:00 (193)  Reply with quote
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/me not readin this...

Next time write a book wink

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marcotorrance | Remember kids, imitating Armin, Tijs or Above & Beyond doesn't increase your penis size!
PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 03:39:00 (193)  Reply with quote
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........................ lol

I love progsters
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PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 03:44:00 (197)  Reply with quote
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Amazing! I enjoyed reading this (first time ever in my 2 years (?) on this site) and this is such a classic. And Matt, haha, I didn't even know you looked like that (you looked stoned on most pics) and that police pic was cool. The story was funny and good at the same time. When you lads are about 30 expect me to come for a visit grin2

I give it 10 of 5... TEH OMG x99999 !!111

Joni Ljungqvist / LNQ / JPL / A Boy Called Joni
Ljungqvist / Joni pres. | Info here:

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PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 03:46:00 (198)  Reply with quote
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"Essentially, we were driving around in an illegal hoopty with a baseball bat
in the backseat that Vic said was for 'self defense / baseball.'

Comrades should have engaged in reversed police brutality.

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wzup Le bonheur n'est réel que lorsqu'il est partagé
PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 03:51:00 (202)  Reply with quote
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Classic Thread material!! lol


...Progression is inevitable...
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PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 03:55:00 (204)  Reply with quote
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omfg whatever

too bad some of the "essential" photos were too dark. especially the one with hot women.

"Some DJ's may be above other djs, but no DJ is above the music." / Lyon810

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PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 04:04:00 (211)  Reply with quote
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great review!!!! a classic!
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PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 04:14:00 (218)  Reply with quote
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count me in next year


Statement! Recordings
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PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 04:19:00 (221)  Reply with quote
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heh, too bad i missed the meetup, AA totally fucked up my reservations...anyway i made it to pvd on time so it was all good

too bad you missed holden, he was funny wearing his iron maiden shirt...didnt catch much of his set though as i was off to see.......hmmm......cant remember....junkie maybe?

what was that club you went to w/the $80 cover?
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PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 05:09:00 (256)  Reply with quote
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^ ya i missed the meetup too, i got there a day after.

but i saw some cool sets and met loads of djs and producers. some of them even gave me some of their promo vinyls:grin:

havent had a chance to listen to em yet.

wmc is def something ill go back too...if only for teh br0ads whatever

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PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 05:11:00 (257)  Reply with quote
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i was there! happy well Ultra and I saw Gabriel & Dresden poolside. happy
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PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 05:43:00 (279)  Reply with quote
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I'm inactive from T.nu. But it is THESE threads that make me want to come back.


ps: i saved all the pics for Future Wank Sessions 001 Miami with Ignition, Martynda, and Hyype.

• keep the floorz clean and the vibe alive •
• South East Asian Clubbers Unite! •
• One World One Music One Tribe One Dance •

[ Edited by: KihnemaN on 2004-03-12 02:45 ]
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PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 05:44:00 (280)  Reply with quote
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n00bfest. thumbsup
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PostPosted: 12 March 2004 - 06:02:00 (293)  Reply with quote
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"About half way through our time listening to PVD, a beautiful big bosomed blonde appeared in the crowd out of nowhere, looked me in the eyes, smiled at me, and grabbed my 12". She grabbed my ass, gave me a hug, and walked back and grabbed Vic's 12". Then she dissappeared.One of the most dissappointing moments of my life"

DAMN! lol

nice one!
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Nils Rest in Peace T.nu!
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